I just listened to 'Return to Love' on Philippa's Myspace. I've not heard that song before & it's wonderful! Thought I'd share the love...call it an early Christmas present :)
http://www.myspace.com/philippahanna
Monday, 22 December 2008
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
Because It's Good For Me
I just sat here considering writing a post about how I won't be posting anymore for a while. After all, this blog has only a small handful of readers, is updated only about once a fortnight and in many ways...I don't even know what it's still here for. When I was in Australia, it seemed useful, and I felt like I had something to share. Of course things are still going on in my life but...I guess it doesn't seem so natural to share them now that those things are going on in my home country.
However, I've decided to keep blogging because, with no reason to believe this other than a vague feeling that it's true, I figure it's probably good for me. I don't know why or how, but it is.
I am face to face right now with how there's so many things I want to do and I simply can't fit them all into my life. I want to be a more committed daughter and sister, I want to excel at university. I want to go back and finish that snowboarding course. I want to serve enthusiastically at church and I want to invest energy in learning to really play an instrument or two. I want to take shifts at work more often. I also want to write a really good blog that's full of good, insightful stuff, or at least entertaining bits and pieces, rather than the self-absorbed monologues that I (along with most bloggers I guess) find myself posting more and more regularly of late.
But...I can't do everything, so I'll just keep fumbling along, trying to move forward and praying for guidance, wisdom and strength. I remember a preacher once saying "If you're going through hell tonight, keep going, because it's the last place you want to pitch your tent". That really stuck with me. Not that I'm going 'through hell'; I'm just busy and stayed up too late last night, but it's still worth remembering. I don't want to stop in a difficult place. By God's grace, I want to push through and come out the other side. So by His grace, I will.
However, I've decided to keep blogging because, with no reason to believe this other than a vague feeling that it's true, I figure it's probably good for me. I don't know why or how, but it is.
I am face to face right now with how there's so many things I want to do and I simply can't fit them all into my life. I want to be a more committed daughter and sister, I want to excel at university. I want to go back and finish that snowboarding course. I want to serve enthusiastically at church and I want to invest energy in learning to really play an instrument or two. I want to take shifts at work more often. I also want to write a really good blog that's full of good, insightful stuff, or at least entertaining bits and pieces, rather than the self-absorbed monologues that I (along with most bloggers I guess) find myself posting more and more regularly of late.
But...I can't do everything, so I'll just keep fumbling along, trying to move forward and praying for guidance, wisdom and strength. I remember a preacher once saying "If you're going through hell tonight, keep going, because it's the last place you want to pitch your tent". That really stuck with me. Not that I'm going 'through hell'; I'm just busy and stayed up too late last night, but it's still worth remembering. I don't want to stop in a difficult place. By God's grace, I want to push through and come out the other side. So by His grace, I will.
Sunday, 16 November 2008
Christmas Shopping.
I guess it's too late for most people to get involved now this year, but I just wanted to highlight the Operation Christmas Child programme that is run every year by Samaritan's Purse. I used to wonder how much good it really is to give trinkets to children who don't have food, but that changed somewhat when I met a man from South Africa. He explained to a group of us that he was a teenager before he ever received a gift, and that receiving a gift meant that someone loved you. It's easy to think of gift-giving as an obligation (as it so often becomes), but it's not that to these children. No one is obligated to give to them, their own parents can't afford to even if they want to. If spending £15 filling a shoe box means that one child will catch a glimpse of the fact that someone somewhere loves them (because their Heavenly Father does) then yes, I think it's money very well spent.
The videos make me tear up - every single time.
The videos make me tear up - every single time.
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
"Wasting" Expensive Perfume
I procrastinated, missed the time I thought He was saying I should go, came up with plenty of reasons not to go, or put it off until I could afford (time and money-wise) to go for longer but then eventually heard what He was saying to me. That's it's not about me, it's about Him. That the woman who anointed him with perfume spilled a year's worth of wages over his feet to bless him for a minute and perfume the room for a while longer. That it was time to stop making excuses and do what He says. Follow Him, like I keep saying I want to. So I booked my ticket and I go for eight days in January. I don't know what the International House of Prayer (IHOP) will be like, but I know God will be with me.
Continuing with the praise report - God is totally doing something in me. Studying isn't driving me crazy (A year ago I would get really down if I had to spend a quiet Saturday afternoon reading) and commuting isn't proving too much for me. Even when I'm tired, I'm not more tired the morning after I stay up a while longer to read the Bible. God, my fortress, my strength, my provision. Hallelujah!
Continuing with the praise report - God is totally doing something in me. Studying isn't driving me crazy (A year ago I would get really down if I had to spend a quiet Saturday afternoon reading) and commuting isn't proving too much for me. Even when I'm tired, I'm not more tired the morning after I stay up a while longer to read the Bible. God, my fortress, my strength, my provision. Hallelujah!
Friday, 10 October 2008
Routine
I'm starting to get into the routine of college. I have one main word to describe it. Busy. It seems that every day I have something on my timetable, whether at uni or outside. I keep becomming so aware of the things I should be doing that I'm not and in honesty, it's not easy.
But I figure this is part of the season. Being at university is new to me. Commuting for 3.5 hours a day is new to me. Mentoring gap year students is new to me. The biggest danger isn't in doing these things. It's in trying to do them in my own strength.
I'm reminded again of the day I went surfing near Sydney. I stood up once or twice. I fell off the board so many times I lost count. I would fall off my surfboard and find myself submerged and disorientated. I didn't know which way was up or down, the shore or out to sea. But it wasn't scary. I just relaxed and in a second, without any conscious effort, my head was above the water. That's how I want to be with God in this season. There's a lot going on and it's easy to feel overwhelmed and disorientated but I don't want to waste energy trying to protect myself when I know that I can trust Him to bring me to the surface.
But I figure this is part of the season. Being at university is new to me. Commuting for 3.5 hours a day is new to me. Mentoring gap year students is new to me. The biggest danger isn't in doing these things. It's in trying to do them in my own strength.
I'm reminded again of the day I went surfing near Sydney. I stood up once or twice. I fell off the board so many times I lost count. I would fall off my surfboard and find myself submerged and disorientated. I didn't know which way was up or down, the shore or out to sea. But it wasn't scary. I just relaxed and in a second, without any conscious effort, my head was above the water. That's how I want to be with God in this season. There's a lot going on and it's easy to feel overwhelmed and disorientated but I don't want to waste energy trying to protect myself when I know that I can trust Him to bring me to the surface.
Saturday, 27 September 2008
Change of (my) plan
I have now managed to get in touch with most of the people who would least likely to see this here before I told them so I'm ready to blog about the recent change in (my) plan.
I'm still going to be involved with running the gap year programme at my church, acting as a mentor for two 18 year old girls who will be working part time and serving part time within the church this coming academic year. I'm also going to be going to university!
The job I had applied for just really didn't seem right by the time they offered it to me and since a desire to go to university after all had been building in me, I decided to test the doors for that. The doors literally swung open, with my parents, pastor and friends giving me encouraging and useful advice, the university still willing to accept me, the timetable working out to fit around my commitments with church and, of course, the enduring sense that this is right.
The commute is about an hour and a half either way, which even after one week is proving tiring, but I believe it will be ok. After all, God strengthens us to do the right thing! Again, I know I can't do this in my own strength, not well, at least. But a little bit further than myself and working in God's strength is a great place to be, so long as I do remember to go in God's strength, not my own!
Anyway, that's the main of the news. I'll try and post again soon. God bless!
I'm still going to be involved with running the gap year programme at my church, acting as a mentor for two 18 year old girls who will be working part time and serving part time within the church this coming academic year. I'm also going to be going to university!
The job I had applied for just really didn't seem right by the time they offered it to me and since a desire to go to university after all had been building in me, I decided to test the doors for that. The doors literally swung open, with my parents, pastor and friends giving me encouraging and useful advice, the university still willing to accept me, the timetable working out to fit around my commitments with church and, of course, the enduring sense that this is right.
The commute is about an hour and a half either way, which even after one week is proving tiring, but I believe it will be ok. After all, God strengthens us to do the right thing! Again, I know I can't do this in my own strength, not well, at least. But a little bit further than myself and working in God's strength is a great place to be, so long as I do remember to go in God's strength, not my own!
Anyway, that's the main of the news. I'll try and post again soon. God bless!
Sunday, 14 September 2008
Space to breathe
I just typed my title and have to laugh at myself. I'll leave it there anyway. I like it.
In the last few weeks I have gone camping with the youth group, gone on holiday with my parents and spent a couple of weeks volunteering in Reading (which is near London for any foreigners reading this!). During that time I had a total of 4 nights at home. To be honest, I think I took too much on, but in my faithlessness, God has been faithful and now I'm home!
I have a job interview this week, so will be spending part of this week preparing for that, as well as doing some paid work. I'm also getting ready for my part in running the gap year programme at church - it's the first time we've had gap year students and have got two girls working with us across youth and children's work, which is really exciting.
All this busyness has given me lots to think about, you know, the distractions of life. Scheduling in the details is a skill that I've been a little out of practice with after 5 months of someone else doing it for me and then 2 months of having lots and lots of time. Through this I'm learning more (like a child trying to walk and falling over LOTS) about how to really trust in God. I can't be this busy and still live for the glory of God in my own strength. I just can't. I have counted up the cost of the different things I am hoping will be part of my schedule and my life this year (including things like having a social life!) and have realised that I can't do it in my own strength...I just don't have enough. But God is faithful, so as my timetable hopefully becomes more settled in the next few weeks with getting a job (God willing), clarifying how we're doing things for the gap year and making a firm decision about doing some distance-learning study, I trust that God will show me what to take on and what not to, and that He will ensure that I don't lack anything that I need, He will fill in the gap between my ability and His calling. And that's just the way it should be.
God bless you all x
In the last few weeks I have gone camping with the youth group, gone on holiday with my parents and spent a couple of weeks volunteering in Reading (which is near London for any foreigners reading this!). During that time I had a total of 4 nights at home. To be honest, I think I took too much on, but in my faithlessness, God has been faithful and now I'm home!
I have a job interview this week, so will be spending part of this week preparing for that, as well as doing some paid work. I'm also getting ready for my part in running the gap year programme at church - it's the first time we've had gap year students and have got two girls working with us across youth and children's work, which is really exciting.
All this busyness has given me lots to think about, you know, the distractions of life. Scheduling in the details is a skill that I've been a little out of practice with after 5 months of someone else doing it for me and then 2 months of having lots and lots of time. Through this I'm learning more (like a child trying to walk and falling over LOTS) about how to really trust in God. I can't be this busy and still live for the glory of God in my own strength. I just can't. I have counted up the cost of the different things I am hoping will be part of my schedule and my life this year (including things like having a social life!) and have realised that I can't do it in my own strength...I just don't have enough. But God is faithful, so as my timetable hopefully becomes more settled in the next few weeks with getting a job (God willing), clarifying how we're doing things for the gap year and making a firm decision about doing some distance-learning study, I trust that God will show me what to take on and what not to, and that He will ensure that I don't lack anything that I need, He will fill in the gap between my ability and His calling. And that's just the way it should be.
God bless you all x
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